I feel like such a jerk. I suppose it is because I feel insecure, but I feel this compulsive need to point out other peoples’ mistakes. Maybe it is because I want everyone to be miserable as me. I wouldn’t know, I am not a Psychologist. I do know, however, I feel incredibly guilty for taking a dig at people, even when they’re dragging me down and putting me through hell. I don’twantto be constantly sad and bitter. i wake up angry for no reason. I feel lonely and unwanted and I take everything personally. Granted, the road my past is paved on is bumpy and covered in dark clouds, but I can’t enjoy the calmness my life is now. It feels as if I am only in the eye of the storm, and it’s only a matter of time before my world collides again. I question myself, and wonder how much more I will face. I know I will face it alone, because only I can conquer my battles, but there are the external wars to fight, and then there are the internal wars with myself. Like when my Granny died. My world. That is a whole story all on its very own. But, if you read this, and I have ever caused you offense, I am from the bottom of my heart,sosorry. I hope this explains why I am the way I am.
DFTBA
-Elena
